A gift of faith

Our gift exchange is always very simple. The kids get one or two things from me from the heart and I, in turn, get something meaningful from them. Today's gift was this portrait of the two of them. (photo by Picture Perfect Photography--Tracy Orr)

One gift to my daughter and her fiance was my copy of The Living Bible I used in high school and college. It was given to me by the sister I lost last year. It is far from a new Bible; the kids called it the ultimate recycled gift. There are underlinings, comments in the margins, scraps of paper marking certain sections, and even rose petals from a past love. My hope is that my underlinings will guide them in their own exploration of the word of God as they soon begin their life together; a life, I hope, which will include a strong faith to support them in good times and in bad times. My faith has been my rock; even the years I spent hiding from God, but that's for another blog.

My son's gift was a tough one to give. It was a watch for him to wear as he joins the ROTC program in college next year. It has an army green band, is waterproof and recharges in the sunlight. You see, it has been hard for me to accept his choice to join the service. Today was my way of affirming his choice and supporting his decision.

Life will change for all of us in the coming year. One will marry. One will go to college. So it was a bittersweet Christmas morning. Life changes, but love remains.

Where did I tell my daughter to begin her personal Bible journey--Philippians, of course; a book of happiness and joy and courage.

Any day can be Christmas

Holidays are especially difficult for divorced families. My divorce clearly spells out what days each parent gets, and major holiday are flip-flopped each year. I encourage all families experiencing a divorce to get a plan in writing (no matter how nice you seem to be during the divorce... time will tarnish us all).


So, even though it has been 10 years since our divorce and my babies are 22 and 17, I pulled out last year's calendar to see "who got Christmas day" this year.


What I have learned over time is this...Christmas can be any day. It used to kill me to not be able to celebrate the holiday, be it Thanksgiving or Halloween or whatever, with my children on the actual day. When we realized that any day together is good, the holiday became joyous again.


Here's wishing your day, whatever day you get to celebrate it, is happy and healthy.

Get out of the boat

I see the look in your eyes; that look caused by unimaginable pressure and grief, that look caused by helplessness and hopelessness, that look caused by incessantly rowing a boat that isn’t going anywhere. I see the look because I know the feeling.

Get out of the boat.

Days and days I felt like I was rowing a rickety boat across an ocean of sticky muck. And, no matter how hard I pulled, it kept sucking me in. Deep down I knew if anything was going to change, I had to get out of the boat. You have to get out of your boat.

Granted, there is a sense of security in the boat. After all, it seems solid, gives at least some protection at times, and seems to be moving, even if only in a circle. But what I thought was security was actually an anchor pulling me to the depths, robbing me of confidence and beauty and love and health.

Get out of the boat, I told myself. Just step out.

Of course when you do, you feel exhilarated for an instant, ‘til you realize you’ve been in the boat so long you’ve forgotten how to swim. The muck is still all around you and now you don’t even have a boat to keep you dry.

Swim, girl. Swim hard. Get to solid ground. For many, familiar beacons on shore from the past no longer offer any help and disappear. For the first time, you’re swimming in new territory. But swim you must.

Get out of your boat.
Find solid ground.
Trust yourself.
Trust others.

It will be all right. I promise.